Asking
circular questions means asking someone about someone else in their
presence. If there is no third party present, a hypothetical person can be
introduced. This method allows a problem to be viewed from different
perspectives. How, for instance, does a partner or brother/sister see the
problem. What does a mother/father or a male or female friend think?
The concern here is not the actual answer given by the third party, but
the process of introducing another point of view. What is important here
is the relativisation of personal perceptions by introducing another
option. Surprisingly, the conjecture concerning the opinions of other
family members is often correct.
Normal patterns of thinking are broken down by using this questioning
technique. A process of searching begins: “What is actually going on?
I've never asked myself that question? What does my wife think about it
then? Why does she think that? Why doesn't she agree with me?!”
The questioning technique provides the questioner as well the person being
questioned with new information? Circular questioning always provides
double information at the contextual and relationship level.
[Taken from: Thomas Weiss/Gabriele Haertel-Weiss: Familientherapie ohne Familie. Kurztherapie mit
Einzelpatienten, München/Zürich 1991, p. 106 ff.] |
Examples of Circular Questions
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If I
were to ask your husband/wife (daughter, neighbor, grandmother,
nephew etc.) how would he/she describe the situation? |
|
How
does that look from the perspective of your colleague? |
|
If your
mother/father were here what would he/she say? |
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If I
were a fly on the wall, what would I see? |
Ask About the Differences
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Who is
closest to you in this conflict? |
|
Who
comes after that? (etc.) |
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How
does that look from the perspective of...? |
|
Would
he see things differently or the same? |
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Who
suffers the most because of the conflict? |
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And who then? |
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Which
of the partners in conflict will relent first? |
Hypothetical Questions
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If you
could magic away the conflict what would happen then?
|
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If the
conflict did not change over the next few years, what effect would
this have? |
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If
everything was much worse? |
Put
desirable alternatives in the form of questions:
|
If you
made a decision to put up barriers more quickly, who would this
effect the most? |
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How
would this person react? |
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Would
they give up or fight back?
|
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